When You’re Not Sure What to Say: Talking to Your Child About Mental Health

Talking to your child about mental health isn’t always easy.

You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or not knowing how to start. You might even wonder if bringing it up will make things worse.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Many parents and carers feel this way — especially when they’re trying to do the right thing without having all the answers.

The good news is, you don’t need perfect words. What matters most is helping your child feel safe, heard, and supported.

💛 It’s okay to start small

You don’t need to have a big, serious conversation straight away.

Sometimes, the simplest moments can open the door:

• “You seem a bit quiet today — how are you feeling?”

• “I’ve noticed things have felt a bit different lately. Do you want to talk?”

There’s no pressure for your child to open up immediately. Just knowing you’ve noticed — and that you care — can mean a lot.

🧠 You don’t need all the answers

It’s completely natural to feel like you should “fix” things for your child.

But often, what they need most isn’t a solution — it’s to feel understood.

It’s okay to say:

• “I’m not sure what the right thing to say is, but I’m here for you”

• “We can figure this out together”

Being ho

nest like this shows your child that they don’t have to face things alone.

👂 Listening can be more powerful than talking

When your child does start to open up, it can be tempting to jump in with advice.

But giving them space to talk — without interrupting or trying to solve everything — can make a big difference.

You might try:

• “That sounds really hard”

• “I can see why you’d feel like that”

Even if you don’t fully understand, showing that you’re listening helps your child feel heard and valued.

🌱 Everyday moments matter

These conversations don’t have to be planned.

In fact, they often happen more naturally in small, everyday moments:

• On the way to school

• Sitting side by side rather than face to face

• During a quiet moment before bed

These low-pressure moments can make it easier for your child to open up over time.

🚫 There’s no such thing as a perfect conversation

You might say something that doesn’t come out quite right — and that’s okay.

What matters is that your child knows:

• You care

• You’re trying

• You’re there for them

Sometimes, just being present is enough.

💬 You don’t have to figure this out on your own

Supporting your child’s mental health can feel like a big responsibility.

At The Matthew Hackney Foundation, we’re currently developing workshops to support parents and carers with conversations just like these — in a way that feels real, practical, and supportive.

But we want to make sure we’re focusing on what matters most to you.

👉 What would help you feel more confident in these moments?👉 What do you find most challenging when your child is struggling?

We’d really value your thoughts — your input will help shape the support we offer to families. You can complete our survey in less than a minute and it's completely anonymous here.

💛 Final thought

When you’re not sure what to say, just being there is a powerful place to start.

You don’t need perfect words.

You just need to show your child they’re not alone.